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An Alien To Myself - So often, we feel alien to our very selves. We fall into a depression that separates us into a place where feel utter hopelessness and despair. We ideate around the taking of our very lives, our self and soul, because it feels like we are already gone anyways - there is no self to miss! Our “self” implodes on itself, we eat our very souls alive. We feel disconnected and disillusioned and disassociated and dismembered. We are distracted and distant and disgusted. The disdain and contempt we hold for self is crushing. Our world, our vision, closes in. Any in a very real way, we do not know who we are anymore, and we certainly don’t know how to get back - not that we really want to get back, we want to move forward, but we don’t know how, so we settle for a past version of self that is no longer attainable, and thus, further despair. Paul writes at length in Romans 7 & 8 about this feeling, this experience, this out-of-the-body but not in some mesmerizing elated way sense of empty living. He says that creation itself groans with such pangs and pains. The writer of Ecclesiastes also encountered such a world - a nihilistic viewpoint of “what is the point?” It’s all vanity, emptiness, nothingingness. God has words to give us when our sights are to deep for words. God “re-members” us, re-forms us, transforms us, morphs us, molds us into new selves, reconnects, and reconciles our very souls. Based on Scripture: Romans 8:18-39
